


I Pitied Vriska Serket and I Didn't Even Get a Dumb T-Shirt

by ClassyFangirl



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Female Friendship, Multi, discussion of canon character death, romantic entanglement, with special guest appearance by Senator Lemonsnout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-27
Updated: 2012-10-27
Packaged: 2017-11-17 03:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFangirl/pseuds/ClassyFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi and Kanaya meet every so often to chat about dead friends and living romantic interests.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Pitied Vriska Serket and I Didn't Even Get a Dumb T-Shirt

**Author's Note:**

> A fic born out of the desire to see a truly incredible bromance between Terezi and Kanaya. If I can't have it in canon, by god, I will have it in fic.

"Order! This meeting of the 'I Pitied Vriska Serket' Society is now in session!"

"You don't have to announce it like that," Kanaya says. "It's only us."

Terezi grins like a drawer full of steak knives. "Yes, but it feels more official this way. Motion to have these comments stricken from the record."

Kanaya rolls her eyes, but says, "Seconded."

"Motion passed! Secretary, kindly remove President Maryam's earlier remark."

Senator Lemonsnout dutifully adjusts the minutes.

Senator Lemonsnout, to the best of Kanaya's knowledge, has never pitied Vriska Serket, but Terezi claims all societies need a secretary to record meetings, so the little scalemate faithfully sits atop notebook for an hour every few days while Terezi and Kanaya talk.

They don't always talk about Vriska. Their conversations vary wildly, from movies and books (Terezi has no interest in rainbow drinker romances and Kanaya does not care for courtblock dramas, so that subject dies quickly) to life on Alternia and their lusii (not an area Terezi can discuss all too deeply, so they try to avoid it). Kanaya once thought the frequency and intimacy of the conversations treaded dangerously close to moirallegiance, but now she thinks this is what it is like to have a friend, one whose affairs you do not meddle in.

Not _frequently,_ anyway.

She tries to talk about Terezi and Karkat’s relationship status, but this question either ends the meeting or is deflected with a remark along the lines of, “So, you and Rose, hmmm?” Quadrants swiftly became off-limits unless one of them brings their own up first, which is infrequent, to say the least.

But today, Terezi says, “It was much easier to hate her than to pity her. It was sort of our thing! Scourge Sisters, partners who became rivals.”

Kanaya doesn’t say a word, just nods to show she’s listening. Terezi sighs and waves a hand expansively. “She was so easy to hate because…she was _Vriska,_ the spidertroll, the one who fed kids to her lusus and acted like she knew everything and you didn’t. And I _hated_ her. I mean. I thought I did? But I think she was so easy to hate because…”

Terezi, for once, can’t find the words, but Kanaya understands. Vriska made it hard to pity her.

Terezi removes her glasses so she can rub the bridge of her nose. “I think she gave me some very complicated romantic ideals.”

Kanaya perks up, wondering if there will be a chance to meddle. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Terezi does not laugh; she _cackles,_ a result of her voice sounding like she’s been gargling broken glass. “Maybe. I’m not naming names! You will gossip.”

“Who could I tell?” she asks innocently. “The Mayor?”

Terezi cackles again. “I should’ve become better friends with you sooner, Maryam! You’re funnier than she made you out to be.”

“I am rather fussy, though,” Kanaya replies. “That was always true.”

“A good sort of fussy! The sort of fussy that keeps people alive.” Her smile quirks down a bit. “Anyway. Romance. See, I want to have romance, all the silly things those dumb movies Karkat likes assured me I’d have at this age! But- we are fighting to save the universe. Romance is not exactly at the front of my mind.”

“We’ve had a break, of sorts,” Kanaya says. “There’s quite a lot to do, but also quite a lot of time to do it in.”

This is what she’s been telling herself when she ducks away from the possibility of a deeper relationship with Rose, but it’s been a sweep and their time is winding down.

“I know that,” Terezi says. She licks her glasses and rubs them on her shirt (Kanaya doesn’t see the point in keeping your glasses clean if you’re blind, but to each her own, she supposes). “If I may have total confidentiality?”

“Senator Lemonsnout will keep it off the record.”

“There has been the…possibility of quadrant experimentation,” she says, all careful legislacerator ambiguity.

Kanaya leans in immediately. “With Dave?”

“No names! No details! Just- there may have been an encounter. And perhaps further encounters. Off the record.”

Every bone in her body itches to question and needle and meddle, but Kanaya doesn’t try to dig deeper. She is going to be a good friend. “I see. While I understand your hesitance, given our unique situation- and our relationships are complicated enough without the evil beings raining death upon the universe –here is what I have to say on the matter.”

She pauses. Terezi nods, waits for her to continue.

“Fuck it,” Kanaya declares. “We are either going to win or lose. If we lose, we die. I don’t know what will happen if we win. It’s not as though we can ignore any problems that may arise in favor of enjoying youthful hormones, but we don’t know what lies ahead. We should make the most of what we have now.”

Terezi smiles, and it is a gentle smile for once, still heavy with teeth like razors, but different somehow. “You’re a good friend, Kanaya Maryam. Thank you.” She clears her throat. “This meeting of the ‘I Pitied Vriska Serket’ Society is now adjourned! Thank you for your time, everyone.”

They both stand and turn to go. “Oh, wait,” Terezi says. “Kanaya?”

“Yes?”

She grins devilishly. “You might want to try taking your own advice. Especially with one Ms. Rose Lalonde!”

“Whatever happened to no names, no details?” Kanaya calls as Terezi saunters away. “You are an enormous hypocrite.”

But she files that away anyway. It’s nice to be advised for once.


End file.
